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Never Good bye

I suppose I won’t see you for a while, so farewell, best of luck, avoid roasted cabbage, don’t eat earwax, and look on the bright side of life!

-Angela Eldest

I walked in the room with my mom to say my farewells. After all, we waited for months in that waiting room. Every other day after school, more if I could convince my mom we needed to be there. They wouldn’t let me go in alone.

I was only in there one other time and I don’t think she could understand what I was saying, even if she could hear me.

Covered in bruises and scrapes, pale but still holding on.

I tried to tell her we were all waiting for her to wake up. About everyone in the waiting room, everyone at school, all the girls we danced with growing up.

I couldn’t stop crying. They told me to be strong for her, but how could I? How could I wake every morning since the accident and not fear the worst after seeing what that van did to her small, petit frame.

As I sat there staring at her the second time, I just wanted her to read all the notes I put in her locker, every day while we all waited. I thought it would help her stay strong enough to wake up. All I would do in class is write her letters. I convinced all my friends to write her letters too, wishing her a speedy recovery. Most of them did.

I had a friend on my bus ask me one day,
“What happens if she doesn’t wake up?”

My only response was,
“She will. She can’t leave me yet.”

And when I sat there staring at my best friend who would never speak our made up language and make silly dance routines to our favorite songs again, all I could say was:

“I miss you.”

And when the weeks proceeded I stared at the empty, oddly shaped vessel whose face was painted on to look like her, all I could say was:

“I hope we meet again.”

I was in the 8th grade when my world spiraled down and crashed. I was a damn good little actress from then on out. Where I couldn’t convince people I was fine, I shut them out.

And as I grew up the open wound in my heart, it eventually scarred over with the initials KMK forever embedded in it.

You taught me the most important lesson of my life and I will never forget you, even 11 years later.

Since that day I will always remember:

It is never good bye. Because one day we will me again. One day.

Forever yours~